This post was written December 12, 2005 but not posted until now for reasons I think you will understand after you read it.
As I write this, I know it will be a long time before I post it. Years maybe. But I had to write it down. It’s so sad, yet so indicative of mankind’s struggle with sin and our mind’s ability to escape the guilt.
I don’t know if she had previouis mental issues – I am sure that she did but I don’t know that for certain. Seeing her in our security monitor, our church secretary came to my office and said, “I think you’d better come, I don’t think I’m going to the door right away.” It was barely 20 degrees outside. She came from across the parking lot. She had taken her shoes and socks off and walked through the deep snow that had fallen just a day before…as she neared the main entrance to the church building, she took off her pants and then her shirt – nothing else on underneath. There on our security monitor, at the main doors of the church building sat a young lady with no clothes on in a fetal position rocking back and forth. Then she stood up and began to lean against the glass and beat on the doors. (I am glad that pre-school is only on Tuesday and Thursday.)
Our secretary called the sheriff’s department and I called down to the young lady over the intercom. “Can I help you?”, I said not having any clue what her response might be nor what I would say after that!
“Yes,” she cried, “Yes, you can, I have come to the house of the Lord for I have sinned and need to repent.” With this she went back to the fetal position and began praying a prayer of repentance. With no regard to the cold, her bare body on the cold concrete.
I stood there, saying a prayer of my own, “OK Lord, we didn’t have a class on this at Harding.” As I began to think how we could get her in out of the cold without putting anyone in danger, the officer drove up. I went downstairs to help him and our secretary went to look for blankets, towels or anything warm to put on her.
We got her inside and clothed and I sat down with her in our sanctuary. We sat in chairs close to one another, I put my arm around her and she was still mumbling over and over, “I have sinned and I need to seek forgiveness”. While the officers were tracking down relatives, she and I began to converse – as well as one can with someone who is completely distraught. As I prayed to myself and tried to talk to her, she slowly became more coherent. After a few sentences, I began to realize that she had gone through an abortion (at least one) and the guilt that had overcome her had driven her to a state of mind with which she could not cope. All she knew to do, at the bare essence of her life (no pun intended), was to come to God, to seek forgiveness, to find hope.
We talked and prayed more and I tried to assure her of God’s love and forgiveness which to her becoming even more coherent and calm. After a while, her mother came and took her to the doctor. As they drove off, I continued to pray that The Great Physicial had already begun the healing process in her life.
I was reminded that no matter how much we try to cover it up with the pleasures of this world, we were made to be God’s. God’s Alone! When sin is in our life, we are seperated from God and that has a devastating effect on us. Although we may not react in the same way she did, this young lady is a reminder of what we are without God.